Screwing It All Up
Pardon the language, but I really fucked up today! Not only did I stand up the girl I have been seeing for the past month, but I also missed the 5 year celebrations at the Gardens at the Bay and somehow managed to fall blackout unconscious twice in one day.
Yesterday was a travel day. Travel days mess with my internal clock. Either it be a single or combination of causes. There is really no excuse for screwing up this bad. Exhaustion due to lack of sleep, hunger due to lack of food, dehydration due to lack of water, heat stroke from working out in the sun or low blood sugar due to … well you get the point. Whatever it may be is no excuse for being such an ignoramus on this day.
The girl I have been seeing finally had time to come see me. She jumped in a cab, arrived at my hotel, but didn’t have enough money to pay for the ride. She called multiple times and left me over two dozen messages that I couldn’t get to. I was unfortunately asleep and didn’t get to her until it was too late. She was left in a shitty situation and had to return home to get money to pay the driver. She has stopped talking to me and we have not seen each other since. We may never see each other again. Perfectly understandable but the punishment doesn’t stop me from feeling like a shithead!
It irks me to no end how shitty of a human being I am. I try to forget and keep my mind busy. Working out usually helps. This was the first actual workout since Bangkok. A good three weeks has passed since and my health is not exactly the greatest to begin with. I thought it would be a good idea.I may have ended up overexerting myself.
Half way through the routine and I had to stop. I sat down and my head started to spin. My vision blurred and my hearing faded in and out. At this point I knew I was going to blackout. Quickly I made my way to the elevators trying to avoid causing a scene. I used the walls as a crutch as I also started to lose my sense of balance.
At the elevators, I waited and waited but the lift never came. My eyes rolled back and I blacked out!
The next thing I know my head is throbbing. I open my eyes and I am on the floor. I must have hit something on the way down and it knocked me back into consciousness. People were starting to gather. The elevator finally arrived and I force myself to my feet and into the lift.
The world was still spinning. The elevator was taking ages to reach my floor. Vision was starting to blur again. Who made this elevator?
The elevator doors finally opened. I quickly get to my room and unlock the door. Relieved that I will not being causing a scene, I prop myself up on the edge of the bed and take a few deep breaths. The next thing I know the room goes black and I was on the floor again. The side of my head throbbing in pain. How long was I out for?
Without thinking, I stripped naked and jumped into the shower. The water ran down my face, the room spun a little slower. I dry off and walk to my bed and I see two sugar packets on the mini fridge. I quickly down the packets and a bottle of water and jump into bed to rest.
Now I lie here in bed, alone, with a throbbing headache and feeling even shittier than this afternoon. Missing out on the festivities, missing out on spending time with the person I enjoy spending time with, missing out on life. Sitting in this room wishing I had a couple of beers to forget. Writing this entry to keep my mind busy.
I wish I never stood her up. I am a shitty human being for doing so. This is what I call Karma I guess.
** Side Note: Written on the day, uploaded on a different day! **